My Vampires Aren't Tough Enough; Or, the IRONMAN 70.3 and Other Paranormal Phenomena

A close friend of mine completed the 70.3 Ironman today, and after a brief glance at his racing stats, I was left with a single, unexpected realization: my vampires aren’t tough enough.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the 70.3 Ironman, just think about that number – 70.3 – and accept that it’s every bit as bad as it sounds.

70.3 miles.  These super-powered masochists (and I mean that in the best way possible) start out with a 1.2 mile swim, then transition to a 50+ mile bike ride, and top it off with a 13 mile run.

I spend a lot of time running, and that is the kind of mileage I put in over the course of a week.  13, not 70.  I cannot imagine what it would be like to run 13 miles at a 7 minute pace after I’d already traveled 50+ miles biking and swimming.  And anyone who’s spent some time in the pool knows that swimming 1.2 miles is no joke.  This Insane-A-Thon starts out with the swim for a reason—because if the race ended with a 1.2 swim, they’d need scuba divers to fish out the incredibly fit dead bodies.

70.3 miles in less than a day—approximately the same mileage it takes to cross the state of Massachusetts

If that’s not superhuman, I don’t know what is.  And maybe my vampires rip off arms and crush skulls and miraculously avoid contracting so much as the flu despite biting and/or kissing pretty much everyone, but they’re seeming less superhuman by the minute.

So, what I’m really thinking is that the difference between my Big Bad Bloodsuckers and my real life friend has nothing to do with superhuman feats.

Maybe it’s just the black leather body suits.

The Proverbial Nutshell; Or, an Introduction to Kit Colter

If you’re on this page it could mean one of three things.  1) You’re curious about me. 2) You’re curious about my work. Or 3) you’re lost in cyberspace.

Whatever the case, I’m going to take advantage of this situation – and maybe by the time you figure out how to get unlost in cyberspace, you’ll want to sign up for my newsletter.  ; )

So, Kit Colter in a Nutshell:

The Good: I have a Master’s degree in English and just received my first-ever acceptance letter to a PhD program.

The Bad: My predilection for exotic punctuation seems to be exacerbated by all this college stuff.

Verdict: Much like chocolate and gamma rays, prolonged exposure to higher education may have unforeseen consequences on one’s mental health.

Some Random Facts:

I live in New Mexico, and it really is the Land of Enchantment.  People like to say there are no sunsets like New Mexico sunsets – and it’s true.  My home is about 400 yards away from the edge of the Rio Grande River, where I spend an inordinate amount of time jogging and occasionally spotting coyotes.  They howl in the arroyo behind my house at night, which is pure awesome.

When I have spare time, I like to rock climb, snowboard, dance, and travel.  In the next month or so, I’ll be traveling to Louisiana to canoe around the swamps and wage a futile battle against the insects.

Some Ultra-Random Facts:

I read everything but Westerns.

I’m slightly obsessed with Michelle Pfeiffer.

I can’t write without peppermint lip balm.

And now, dear reader, you know everything about me.

As a Post Script: I primarily write science fiction, fantasy, and horror.  My characters are flawed people in extraordinary circumstances.  I try to make good decisions more difficult and bad decisions more interesting.  Also – bending the laws of physics is kind of addictive.  For more about that, check out my blog post: What’s This Science-Fantasy Garbage Anyway?

PSS: If you sign up for my newsletter, I’ll send you a newborn unicorn in the mail. Promise.